Showing posts with label advice. Show all posts
Showing posts with label advice. Show all posts

Friday, April 12, 2013

Do women set too high of a standard for men?


YES... a very sensitive topic. I recently had a conversation with one of my girlfriends (you know our weekly girl talk: men, fashion, and how we run the world). She told me that she started this new pact with herself to set HIGH standards for the man she allows in her life and not to bend these standards. Her qualifications included college graduate, well paid job, and older in age among other things. Now, I've heard both sides to this issue of whether women's standards are too high. Majority of men say that women will never find a man that meets all the standards they set and that they should stop looking for perfection. Most women feel that if they don't set these standards how will they find a man worth spending their time and energy on.

My Opinion 
(WARNING: This is not expert advice and if you want that then hit up Dr. Phil but even he has relationship issues) 

Everyone has things that they just can't compromise on. Whether they're as big as religion or as superficial as pretty feet, I don't feel that anyone should compromise the things that mean most to them because at the end of the day they are the ones that will have to wake up to that person everyday for the REST OF THEIR LIVES.

BUT, ladies it's so easy for us to turn our noses up in the club at someone trying to dance with us in some busted sneakers. (men first impressions are important by the way so get your lives before trying to holla, please!) But sometimes we end up blocking out a really great person that you may have grown to love! Now don't get me wrong, I'm an expert at judging a book by its superficial cover which is just naturally part of a human's thought process but its good to add more variety in our selection. I believe us women like to narrow down the selection of men so we don't put ourselves in vulnerable situations. It's like a screening process to make sure we are investing time in the right man. Fashion (check), attractiveness (check), good breath (check), church goer (check), and then BAM they are barely making four figures. Then its "Oh hell no!" What do you do then? Well, what is his motivation level? Does he have bigger goals that he is working to to achieve in the future? Or does he take every footlocker pay check and put on a show for Instagram? Don't be so quick to write off potential NOT a fixer upper because a man will never change unless HE wants to. Now if you're asking for a high achieving man make sure you're a high achieving female. It's only right to require what you are also able to give, that way you both are growing together... not one lagging behind the other. Finding someone whose dreams and aspirations are aligned with where you want to be, should take priority over several other superficial standards.



Now men DON'T get too excited about my comments just yet. If you're trying to get with a girl, (I'm talking about a wifey type girl not "save-a-hoe" missions at KOD) then you need to get it just a tad bit together because if she's worth it she deserves the BEST you and if you're not ready to give her the best of you then walk away in the beginning NO HARM, NO FOUL. But if your trying to court, "flex", "put on", "wife that up", or "show out" make sure you have substance to back it up because a woman wants respect, stability, and emotional support and those things they should NEVER have to compromise on.

Honestly, we can set standards for who we'll fall in love with whether age, money, looks, or fashion sense; but we can never plan or predict love. But it shouldn't stop us from loving HARD!


"Sometimes the heart sees what is invisible to the eye." - H. Jackson Brown, Jr. 

Do you believe women hold standards that are too high? 

*Remember the conversation never stops here, it begins. Have a voice, make it count.*